Doing the best we can for our child doesn’t always seem easy.

(Re-read the sentence, highlight, underline and repeat)

Doing the best we can for our child doesn’t always seem easy. Period.

We often think about our child’s needs. What we may sometimes overlook is what they want.

Your child’s wants, thoughts and opinions are flowing freely at around two years of age. When you can, take a moment to stop and pay closer attention to what your child may want in that moment.

They ‘want’ the television remote. Then they don’t. They ‘want’ their brother’s watch, then they don’t. They ‘want’ to eat their carrots, then they ‘want’ to eat your carrots. They ‘want’ to pet the dog, feed the dog, walk the dog, but you… don’t have a dog. And all this is in a six-minute period of observation!

In a very brief window of time, you will find plenty of these ‘wants’, but what we must think carefully about is: which of these wants do we need to support and foster? Can we use these wants to build their self-esteem and confidence? Can we equip them with the language and strategies to get more of what they want in appropriate ways?

Sometimes the rational parent cannot allow the want or perhaps even comprehend, ‘Why does my child want this right now?’ It is often the case that a parent may ‘not hear’ the want. However, our children’s self-worth and sense of value come from their actions, and the adults in their lives must help guide and support some of these actions.

As parents and Early Years educators, it is our job to foster the incredible importance to a child of “YOU”.

Your thoughts matter

We value your opinions

We need to understand what you need or want

So, for example, guide them to play with their brother’s watch for a small window of time, after having a conversation with big brother first, by asking politely to see the watch and play with it for five minutes using the word ‘please’. This way, we can support a child in getting something they want in an appropriate way.

Talk to them when their wants change: ‘I understand that you don’t want the remote anymore. You changed your mind.’

Who doesn’t change their mind? Don’t we as adults change our minds too… the red bag, no, the black one; the landscaping company, no, the natural look!

Try to rationalise all of the wants from a child’s point of view, which could be when they want to put their toys in the fish tank because those fish need to play! They are trapped and need toys!

Determining how we can help our children achieve some of what they want will directly improve how they feel about themselves.

I am able, I am skilled, I am confident, I am important, I am ME!

For further support:

Reach out to us via our website or during our monthly Tricky Thursday Live Q & A sessions with direct ‘want’ examples that you might be struggling with and our team of Early Years Experts will help you navigate through those Tricky moments.

Mrs Laura Partanen
Nursery Manager
Jumeirah International Nurseries, Palm Jumeirah