How do I encourage my toddler to handle messy activities?
Toddlers often copy what they see their parents doing. So, if you are constantly tidying up after your child, reacting negatively to mess, but then praising them when they clean up after themselves, they are likely to notice those patterns and model the same behaviour.
During the first year of life, babies learn enormously through observation and sensory exploration. Their hands and mouths are particularly important tools for discovering the world around them. Objects are touched, squeezed, dropped and, very often, brought straight to the mouth as babies try to understand what something is and what it feels like.
Giving babies and toddlers opportunities to explore, touch, feel and smell different textures from an early age can help build comfort with messy play. Food can be a wonderful place to begin because it naturally introduces children to different textures, temperatures, colours and sensations.
However, if your child seems uncomfortable with messy play, it is important to take things slowly.
Allow them to explore unfamiliar sensations gradually, without pressure. You may need to model the behaviour you would like them to feel comfortable with by joining in yourself and showing that sticky, wet or unfamiliar textures can be safe and enjoyable.
Children are incredibly observant. They notice your facial expressions, your tone of voice and the way you respond to something unfamiliar. Young children often look to the trusted adults around them to decide whether a new experience feels safe. If you appear calm and relaxed, they are more likely to feel reassured too.
When introducing messy play, start gently. Instead of immediately encouraging your child to put their hands into a bowl of spaghetti, for example, you might begin by touching or stirring it with a fork. Over time, they may become comfortable enough to explore it with their fingers.
The aim is to teach children that getting messy is perfectly okay.
Constantly wiping hands, cleaning faces or preventing children from touching messy materials can unintentionally send the opposite message. Children who have very limited experience with different textures may become more sensitive to tactile sensations. Some may dislike having messy hands or faces, avoid walking barefoot on grass or sand, or become distressed by unfamiliar textures.
Throughout toddlerhood, some children become more comfortable with new sensations gradually, while others remain naturally more cautious. Their responses to tactile experiences can simply reflect their individual temperament.
Some toddlers show a greater degree of behavioural inhibition when faced with unfamiliar situations or sensations and may need more time to adjust. Exposure should therefore be gradual, positive and tailored to the individual child and their response.
Messy play also helps children build a richer understanding of language. The more textures they experience with their hands, feet and bodies, the more opportunities they have to connect words with sensations.
“Gooey”, “crispy”, “lumpy”, “smooth”, “sticky” and “crunchy” become much more meaningful when children have actually experienced them for themselves.
These sensory experiences may also support children in becoming more comfortable with a wider variety of foods. A child who is familiar with different textures through play may feel more confident encountering those textures at mealtimes.
Another important benefit of messy play is the development of hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills. Scooping, squeezing, pouring, pinching and stirring all strengthen the small muscles in the hands and help children coordinate what they see with how they move.
These skills eventually support everyday tasks such as using cutlery, dressing independently, fastening shoes, drawing, writing and using scissors.
The foundations of hand-eye coordination begin very early, particularly during the hand-to-mouth stage of development, which is common between approximately 6 and 18 months of age. Giving children safe opportunities to explore different textures during this period can therefore support both sensory and physical development.
Ultimately, messy play is not really about making a mess.
It is about giving children permission to explore the world with their whole bodies, at their own pace and without fear of getting things wrong.
So the next time yoghurt ends up on the table, spaghetti is squeezed between tiny fingers or paint somehow reaches an elbow, pause before reaching for the wipes.
A little mess today may be helping build confidence, coordination and curiosity for tomorrow.
Mrs Samina Khanyari
General Manager
Jumeirah International Nurseries
